Angel Tears
by Castiel-Fan
Summary: The time has finally come. Finally, Castiel can face the one he has been looking for such a long, long time...


_**First things first.  
I DON'T OWN SUPERNATURAL! ALL RIGHTS BELONGS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS OF THE SHOW!**_

 **Warning:** SPOILER ALERT FOR SEASON 11!

That's something I would have loved to see in Season 11,  
but sadly the writer's seems to have forgotten about this and yet we all know how important this would have been for Castiel...

Please don't tell me that I am the only one who thinks that way...

Hope you like it and again sorry for grammer/spelling mistakes :)  
I translated this from german into english.  
 **And i would appreciate feedback in the form of a comment very much.  
Please don't be shy and share your thoughts with me. I won't bite you** **;)**

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 **Angel Tears**

When God had left heaven after the great battle, his children had been devastated.

War broke out between those who still followed him and those who wanted to step into Lucifer's footsteps.

These were terrible times.

Times, not even the strongest angel created by God could bear.

Castiel didn't bear it when his father had left heaven and when his brothers and sisters had started killing each other.

When the war had begun, he became something he never wanted to be: A warrior.

Since God was gone, Michael had taken command in heaven and over the years the mighty Archangel had become colder than ice and he had ruled with an iron hand.

Castiel had then no longer felt comfortable whenever he had come back to heaven.

But those days were nothing compared to those when they had to endure the start of the apocalypse, because it had been a human who had paved Lucifer the way to earth.

But he and the humans had found a way to lock the devil back into his cage.

Whether Castiel was happy?

No, he was not, because when Lucifer fell back into Hell, his brother Michael also fell with him into perdition and so Castiel was now all alone, for all that he had ever loved with all his heart were either dead or prisoners of the underworld.

And his father hadn't even cared for any of this, because even in these dark times, he had not returned to his children.

And Castiel hated him for that!

He hated him, that he had abandoned them all!

Hated him that he didn't care for his children!

And Castiel wanted that it would finally stop!

He wanted no more wars to endure, he didn't want to see anymore hatred in the eyes of his brothers and sisters and he no longer wanted to fight against his own family!

He just wanted to find his peace...was this too much to ask?

Apparently it was, because in the following years, it became not better, but worse for him.

He presented himself as the stoic angel Castiel in front of the humans, Sam and Dean Winchester, to let them think that he didn't care for any of this, but when he was all alone and when he was sure that no one would see him, then he let all his pain, all his anger and all his grief out of himself and cried.

Cried, as no angel had ever done it before…

He shed those tears for his family and for himself, because in all the years he had never been a big help for any of them.

Quite the contrary, because he was responsible for the deaths of many angels in heaven, as he had played God and when he had unleashed the Leviathans on his father's world.

But God not even cared for this and Castiel's heart had become a little emptier in these dark times...

At the end the angel was so broken that he made the biggest mistake of his life, when he gave Lucifer his "Yes" and freed him from his cage again.

He had only meant it well, had thought he and Lucifer would be strong enough to defeat God's sister Amara and he wanted to have the feeling of being needed. Instead, he had plunged the world into an even bigger mess, because Lucifer had lost the last remnants of his mind in hell. Although he had never done him any harm, but it was enough to see how Lucifer had tortured the humans, Castiel had learned to love.

Sam and Dean had become his human brothers in all these years that had passed, had become his new family, because they had taken care of him and they had raised him up, when he had fallen and Lucifer had almost destroyed all of this with a single snap of his fingers, would Castiel not have intervened when he had attacked Sam.

And what was all of this for?

Even Lucifer was not strong enough to do any harm to Amara.

She had taken him prisoner and she had tortured him and Castiel had felt his pain as much as the devil himself had felt it, but the pain was nothing compared to the pain that was in his heart.

A worse pain as the one in his heart didn't exist and Castiel was on the verge to give up all his hopes.

And then everything had changed when _he_ had returned...

He had shown himself to Sam and Dean at first, had gone to the bunker with these two, where Lucifer had been waiting for him since Sam had saved the devil from Amara and had taken him to the bunker, where God had healed him.

Castiel had seen all of that and inwardly he had screamed, because his father seemed to only have eyes for his most favorite Archangel and not for him and the pain inside his heart became worse than anything else in this world and even Lucifer had felt it.

How long had he searched for his father?

How long had he prayed and hoped that he would come back?

And now here he was, right in front of him, but he didn't see him!

He had only eyes for Lucifer, but not for Castiel and this certainty hurt as thousands of swords could do.

The hope in Castiel had died and there was only emptiness left in his heart...

Even Lucifer had noticed this as well and even if he would never admit it out loud, but he had felt sorry for Castiel, when he had seen how much the young angel had suffered. He could twist it and turn it as much as he wanted, but his heart was not completely frozen and he had wished to take his little brother in his arms and comforted him, just as he had always done it back in heaven.

But his pride would not allow this and so he had to continue to watch how Castiel suffered day after day.

His father stood in front of him every day and yet he didn't see him and that seemed to give Castiel the rest.

Eventually Lucifer had made a decision: He would give Castiel the control over his human vessel, so that he could talk to God and Lucifer promised him not to interfere, no matter what would happen.

He had seen how Castiel had to hold back his tears and he had even given him a little smile and it was exactly what Lucifer had wanted to see.

When Castiel and God had met in the end, there were no words spoken between them; only tears that spoke for themselves.

For minutes Castiel had just been standing in front of his father and Chuck had just silently looked at him, before Castiel hadn't endured it any longer and he had thrown himself into his father's arms.

And then the angel tears had flowed...

Castiel had cried as he had never done it in his life before and he had hardly been able to stop; not even when his father had stroked his fingers through his dark hair and when he had whispered soft words into his ear that could only be understood by an angel and when he had pressed him even closer to his chest, Castiel had felt like the little fledgling he once had been.

"I've been looking for you all these years Father. Where have you been?" Castiel had asked between his heartbreaking sobs.

"Shhh my son. I'll tell you later. Then, when you've calmed down..." Chuck had replied and this had been too much for Castiel to handle.

For the rest of the evening he had been in God's arms and he had cried with joy and anger at the same time.

For how long, that he didn't know, but at some point the tears were dried and Castiel and his father had composed themselves and they had started to talk.

All night long…

And even Lucifer's lips graced a gentle smile in that night as he silently listened to these two.

Maybe there was still some hope left for all of them.

Hope, that one day they would get back a little piece of the Paradise again.

Tonight was at least a small start in this big battle...

 **The end**

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 **Authors Note:  
** _Since Season 5 I wished for a moment where Chuck/God will meet with Castiel and now we got such a chance in Season 11 and...nothing happened! I mean what the hell guys?! Castiel was looking for his father for such a long, long time and now God doesn't even care for him? How could you forget about this? **  
**_


End file.
